Forgiveness

The last couple of days I've had this quote on my mind: "Forgiveness doesn't make the other person right. It just allows you to move on." I heard Sandi Patty say it a year ago and it really struck me. It's so true and yet I'd never thought of forgiveness that way before. But I've begun to wonder - given that definition, do we ever really forgive or does time just help heal old wounds? I mean, people have acted against me in the past and although it has hurt me deeply at the time I still talk to them, do things for them that I hope they appreciate, and try to maintain the relationship. But then something will happen and all the old feelings get stired up again and I ask myself - does that mean I never really forgave them in the first place?

I also know I have a tendancy to be too nice. I'm one of those people who trusts 100% from the start as opposed to making you earn my trust. I want people to like and accept me, so I often find myself doing things I think the other person would appreciate. I'm also learning though, sometimes the hard way, that I can't manipulate people's actions. I can't do something because I want them to feel or behave a certain way. I have to do things because I want to do them. I'm still working on distinguishing that line. I wonder - does this characteristic in me, make me too quick to forgive? Some people hold grudges. I don't think I ever could, at least not for very long, but is it possible that there isn't at least a little something to be learned from those type of people. After all, things aren't always black or white.

But then as I'm drying my hair this morning (I'm convinced that all ah-ha moments occur in the bathroom) I realized that just as forgiveness doesn't make the other person right, it also doesn't mean that you have to forget! I think the important lesson to be learned is that everyone needs forgiveness at times. Sometimes we give it, sometimes we receive it. And when we are on the giving end, it isn't always easy, but hopefully we learn to understand the other person better and even grow as a person ourselves. But most importantly, we find some peace to put the anger and the hurt behind us. Because, after all, life is to short to be filled with anger and hurt.

"The week can never forgive. Forgiveness is an attribute of the strong." Mahatma Gandhi